well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
