Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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