i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
God, I missed his penis.
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