I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
