you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
