one two three fourrrrnication!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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