Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
