At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
