No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
