what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
