I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
