I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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