In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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