Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
