I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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