I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
