Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
