Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
