**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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