They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
is it fun? or sober?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
