THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
