"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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