Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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