Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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