final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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