His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
