Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
