"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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