So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i dont even know how to be here
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
