She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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