He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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