is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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