dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
