honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
