now i know why i became what i already was.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
