her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
