do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
