she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
