I want to stick my p in your. b.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
