question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
