The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
