p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
