I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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