dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
