Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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