Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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