Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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