I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
