they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
