I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
