it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he was CRYING into my vagina
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
