His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she pinky promised me she was 18
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
