Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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